You can't find nothing at all, if there was nothing there all along.

Youth Group is good, their songs get stuck in my head, lines repeating themseleves over and over. My thoughts are like a broken record player and as scattered as rainshowers. It blocks out the sounds of people, work, thoughts, myself, etc. I'm not too sure what's left actually.

"I'm drowned and I don't know why"



Ooo, so I can't miss my countdown since this is all I ever post about: Christmas is in 4 days and Brian will be with me in 7 days.

boredom

it lurks in every corner, until you change your perspective. but that does not happen by changing your window's view.

(I am about to discover how it is really done, I hope)

the month-long break has come to a close

Had I waited until tomorrow to post this, it would have been exactly one month since the last time I posted anything on this very neglected blog.

Growing on me: her and them.

Anticipations got me glued:
Lady in the Water
Nico

zero days baby

less than 3 hours and I find it very difficult to sit still for this long!!

one day

one day too long.

two days

less than 48 hours

three days

approximately 76 hours

four days

just because I can't miss any

five days

lalala

six days

and satsuma oranges are really really good.

seven days

(or ten thousand eighty minutes)

eight days

yes, that's right, eight days. way too long.

Birthdays and Fridays are great days.

Today is my little siter's birthday. Unfortunately, she is about 3 inches taller than I am, but that does not change the fact that she is younger than me, and thus I can still callh her my "little" sister.

Happy Birthday my dear Patch. I can't believe you are only 16. On birthdays it usually seems to be the other way around...we say "I can't believe you are already __," but it seems to me like you are older than this. God is doing great things in your life. Seek His face. I love you.

Love,
Annie

I'm kind of tired...

Today was a big day. I quit my job. I have three weeks left, which amounts to no more than six days, or a total of 36 hours. This doesn't really seem right, or normal, but then, when is something I do "normal"? And for that matter, what does normal really mean anyways? I really don't hate my job as much as it seems...


I have wondered for a long time whether I am right or left brained...and while I suppose this didn't really help me, I find it strangely interesting.

Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz The higher of these two numbers below indicates which side of your brain has dominance in your life. Realising your right brain/left brain tendancy will help you interact with and to understand others. Left Brain Dominance: (16) Right Brain Dominance: (16) Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz

I need a camera. Mine definitely does not work. I'm not sure how this is possible, but the film came back completely blank. I'm beginning to wonder about my knowledge of cameras. Perhaps I am just insanely stupid. Still, a new camera would be amazing.

Four weeks and three days...

A Day Like Today

Today is probably the most boring busy day I have worked in a long time.

It's freezing and rainy outside and apparently supposed to snow tomorrow. I hope it does.

"I don't mind the weather, I've got scarves and caps and sweaters."

welcome back (says the voice on the radio)

There is a new trailer for The Goblet of Fire, which you can (and should) watch here.

Californ-I-A is on my mind. I'm thinking about making a weekend trip there. Would that be insane? Probably so. I think I will be insane.

"We'll walk to Hawaii..."

Hopeful state of mind.

I am stuck somewhere between reality and wishful thinking.

Fall officially starts in 12 days. Why then, is it still 90 degrees outside?? And more than that, why am I constantly wearing sweaters to protect myself from the air conditioning?? This is not right...

we're bound to be afraid

Hey. I say "hey" too much. I sound like a....well something. Besides, who write a blog post that begins with "Hey"? (I do, apparently.)

The important (or not so important, it's up to you) things I have to say are these:

1. Go to your nearest Gap store and try on a pair of their jeans, whether or not you have any intention of purchasing them. They will give you a free iTunes download.

2. About a Boy is movie worth seeing and I would really like to see it again.

3. My sister and I invented some "cool hot indie preppy clothes" which I do realize is a double oxymoron, but fun to talk about none the less.

4. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable, or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?

Fours the lucky number tonight.

10:42 is the lucky time, it is bedtime.


If I don't go crazy, I'll lose my mind.

the cool air will rush your hard heart away

Today was one of those days. One of the ones that was very nice and should have been much enjoyed. The lack of enjoyment of it on my part tells me something is wrong...

The selfish part of my heart is steadily growing larger and overtaking the miniscule thankful part.

Beautiful things have happened, so many things seem so right. Yet, I sit here and wish I was some place else and instead of making the most of every situation, learning the best I can from every oppourtunity, and being thankful each day for the life I have been given, I set up shop and feel sorry for myself.

The only point of this post is to remind myself that I know exactly what is wrong with me.

in case you were wondering

Yep, I'm still alive, still buying shoes, and still listening to Nada Surf. Life is good.

he is here. the day I thought may never come happened last night at around 6pm.

Films

Seeing as how I was tagged by Andrea quite some time ago, I guess it is time I do this, eh?!

Total number of films I own on DVD/Video:
I don't really own very many, if even any. My parents own a lot, probably like 15-20 on DVD, 35-40 on VHS. I'm not sure. I'm not very good at estimating.

The last film I bought: Again, I don't buy many films...Napoleon Dynamite was the last one someone in my house bought though...I think.

The last film I watched:
Ladder 49

Five films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order):
1. The Sound of Music - I remember watching it from the time a was really little and thinking it was cool that Gretel was about my age (she is five...). My sisters and I used to watch this a lot.

2. Benny & Joon - Is one of my favorites...it just is...

3. Breakfast at Tiffany's - Definitely one of my all time favorites too. I have watched this a ton with my sisters as well, we have mostly all of it memorized, and quote it often.

4. St. Ives - So yeah, I guess I am kind of going for all the ones I love to watch with my sisters. :-P We just watched it last week...and have most of it memorized too.

5. Rear Window - This is probably my favorite Hitchcock film, and it was the first of his works I ever saw, and I love it.

I tag Melodee, Rachel, and Amanda (hey, good thing you are coming home tomorrow!!!).

Edit: So, I guess I just won't tag anyone then...I realized after posting this that Melodee and Rach have already done it. I'm so behind the times, what can I say?!

i feel so incredibly small

Finished...

I'm DONE!!!! YES!

I hope to never set foot on the campus of Montana State University-Billings again. For the past 58 minutes I have been enjoying the fact that I have graduated from college. Half way at least...

Time to celebrate. (said while typing with one hand as I eat the ice cream cone my mother just bought me with the other hand ;-) )

"If I were...."

Andrea started this game on Kindred Spirits and tagged me. I am not going to tag anyone, so just answer if you feel like it. Or answer one. Or something cool like that.

Here's the scoop on how to play: I pick 5 occupations out of the list below and post my answers. Then I tag 3 other people to post their answers on their blog. If I tag you, and you don't want to be a part of this, then that is okay. Just let me know and I'll tag someone else. Make sure you note who tagged you!

The "questions": If I could be a scientist...If I could be a farmer...If I could be a musician...If I could be a doctor...If I could be a painter...If I could be a gardener...If I could be a missionary...If I could be a chef...If I could be an architect...If I could be a linguist...If I could be a psychologist...If I could be a librarian...If I could be an athlete...If I could be a lawyer...If I could be an inn-keeper...If I could be a professor...If I could be a writer...If I could be a llama-rider...If I could be a bonnie pirate...If I could be an astronaut...If I could be a world famous blogger...If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...If I could be married to any current famous political figure...

My Answers ~
1. If I could be a scientist, I would most definitely be a marine biologist living someplace very near an ocean and be an underwater photographer on the side.

2. If I could be a farmer, I would grow fields of sunflowers and spelt. And I would get to wear one of those very cool straw hats.

3. If I could be a missionary, I would go to Mexico. I would even learn let myself learn Spanish, which I have no desire whatsoever to do.

4. If I could be a psycholgist, I would write my own theory of development by combining all of the best parts of every theory I had ever read and discard the rest, and work only with children. Or else I would discover how to help young girls who have struggled with eating disorders.

5. If I could be an astronaut, I would be fulfilling a dream I have had ever since I was a child. Although, I really don't think I would want to be an astronaut now, and would probably be too terrified to set foot in a space shuttle. Hey, it sounded fun with I was little. I guess I would rather just be an astronomer.

The Surrealness

Today I feel as though I am floating above the surface of my life. But not because I feel that I am looking in on something that looks perfect. The past three days have been interesting...

A few nights ago I got a call from Brian. I went along talking about my day (because he so kindly asks about me first), and a few minutes later found out he had just been shot in the hand. Because we serve a God who loves to show us mercy beyond our comprehension each day of our small lives, the shot was from a bb and it only hit his hand. The more I think about that, the more amazed I am. Unfortunatley, the next day, for about 10 seconds, I believed him when he told me his hand had to be cut off because of gangrene. Yay for Anna, she is gullible.

I would love to believe that today was only something I dreamed. Only, I know better than that, because these things happen for a reason. Good things happened as well though, of course!

"You've been mostly dead all day" is the way I feel. A girl in my class tonight says she is sure she has mono. I don't think that would be a good thing to have, but I sort of feel like it is a possibility. I pray it isn't though.

For my sisters, I have to say this:
"sometimes ups
out-number the downs,
but not in Nottingham"

(yes, that is from Robin Hood.)

Life is beautiful, what can I say?

The things I learn from my father...

So yesterday was National Stoner's Day. And we totally missed it...

Apparently it has been around since the 70's, but because of connections made possible through the wonderful world wide web, a whole lot more people know about it. The plan was to gather in one spot at 4:20pm and smoke a joint together, and from there, why stop, right? My dad heard this on NPR...I find it very interesting.

My father (being the chemist that he is) told me today that snow traps a lot of nitrogen and is a natural fertilizer for the grass as it melts. He tried to explain to me how this works, but I was content to trust him that it does...

He also bought me an iPod for graduation. Can you believe it? I can't. I didn't think he really was going to. He even seems to be almost as excited about it as I am.

So this week my hot water bottle and Emergen-C packets have been my greatest friends. I threatened myself that I would have to go to the doctor today if I woke up feeling worse. I guess it worked, because I think I am getting better. Plus, it's supposed to warm up again beginning tomorrow. Life goes on. ;-)

Andrea, this is all for you.

This post is for Andrea.

Thanks to your convincing, I did not venture out into the snow and drive to class this afternoon only to find that it had been cancelled. No, I stayed at home where it is (kind of) nice and warm. Pitcures are the best I can do. ;-)

The reason I did not go to class this morning. (Rachel took this picture through the window...it was kinda cold and snowy outside.)


Poor things. This is after it stopped snowing and started to slowly melt.


If there was a reward for the wettest snow, we would win. The trampoline and the trees are sagging down from the weight.

"I ain't gonna let you rain on this parade"

Exactly two weeks from today, Friday, April 15th, I will be done with classes (officially). Then, the following Tuesday, I will be officially done with finals and my years at Montana State University-Billings will be complteted. Forever. I hope to never set foot on that campus again. ;-) This is a joyous thought for me...

Today is one of those happy days, what can I say? Nothing has even happened, and the weather outside is not as nice as I had hoped for, but it is a great day, none the less. The Lord is gracious.



After taking a brief pause from what my typing, I am aware that my happiness is too often based on my life, on my money, on my friends, my family, and whatever the situation of the day may be. Something is out of proportion in this picture. I do not stop to think to myself that the Lord is gracious when I am having a bad day; when I am feeling the stress of school, or worrying my little head with things far beyond my control. Instead, I mope around feeling sorry for myself wishing I were someone else, or somewhere else, or both. Then there are times when I am reminded of this, such as right now, and what do I do about it? Nothing. Yes, that's right. I do nothing. I am too content in my making my own little world where my life seems to be going great, according to my will, and I keep running with that, rather than realizing the undeserved wonderful day God has given to me.


"O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy grace now, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above."

"take my hopes and take my dreams,
so that Your vision may be mine"

These are thoughts of a wandering mind...

If you were here...

we would stay up late listening to music in the dark outside.

(I miss you)

Rest your eyes, I love pictures.

Beau wants to come inside so badly...



Shadows and feet are among my favorite things to take pictures of. This is odd, I know..


I think I would like to visit Holland someday. This picture is strange, because you can see a pine tree in the background. Not really very Hollandish looking after all.


And Rachel says that I have Japanese eyes. I said she has round eyes, imagine that.

This is only the beginning.

The sky has been screaming with a desire to rain all day. It has finally come. Yes, we have rain.

I decidedly do not like driving in the dark, in the rain, or on torn up roads. Any combination of the three is definitely not for me, and all three taken together is most definitely not my cup of tea.

Speaking of tea...I am glad to say that I am now addicted to tea. (As long as it isn't black or green or white.)

The Shins are marvelous.

Tomorrow is Saturday and I am getting my hair cut. I am planning for it to be a beautiful day -- and I am aiming to try to make sure I think of it that way whether it feels beautiful, or not.

Oh daffodils...

the practically perfect daffodil I cut from the yard today.

The Newness of Things

The start of something new. It's a beautiful thing.

Tomorrow is the start of a new month. Oh how I love new months.